LOST

I've lost my fire. I am feeling acutely lackluster and without drive. I found myself near tears as I walked the streets of the festival this weekend. I feel profoundly unlovable and unable to do anything about it because I like who I am, but no one else seems to.

My life has been designed to allow me to be available to my family, husband, and friends, but alas I am single, childless, and have limited people I call friends :-( I find that I don't like many people nowadays. I can't have anymore ridiculous conversations or try to justify my life to another jackass. I just want to be. I am hoping this move will make it better. A new environment, a new group of people to get to know, a larger pool of human to choose from.

My theory is that by relocating to a city with more people per square mile, I have a higher odds of connecting with someone. There is more to do and a totally new cultural landscape to navigate. I am hoping to find traces of the me I used to know genuinly excited, optimistic, enthusiastic not putting on a show hoping to make it real.

We'll seee